How to Take the Stress Out of Christmas

 

It’s Tuesday Tea Time at Rayanne’s  again..and time for a little chat. So break out your mug of hot cocoa or tea..and let’s talk about stress…and Christmas. I know, it’s sad to think that those two have to pop up in the same sentence. This morning,  I thought I’d start a Christmas ‘to do’ list and for once get an early start!  (Why does this never happen?!!)

So I energetically sat down with my cup of hot cocoa, my marker board and a pen and enlisted my daughter’s help to ‘brainstorm’ with me. Together, we came up with a list of the usual things that we hope to accomplish each year around this time….

  Christmas To Do List

• Make Christmas Budget with Hubby
• Gift list for Immediate family
• Gather Shipping Supplies
• Gift list for Extended Family (Ship by Dec.5th)
• Online Shopping
• Christmas Shopping

• Decorate the House for Christmas
• Card list (Address Envelopes)
• Write Family Newsletter – Print Copies
• Take Christmas Family Photo
• Operation Christmas Child Shoebox
• Sewing for Nieces and Nephews
• Photobook for Parents

• Set Up a Giftwrap Center
• Make Holiday Candy
• Make gifts

• Hang Lights
• Decorate Tree
• Set Up Advent Wreath
• Plan Christmas Dinner
• Holiday Baking

Then I dutifully tried to squeeze it all into the calendar between now and Dec. 25th.  Of course, there were already lots of things on the calendar; Thanksgiving, a square dance, a wedding shower, a car repair, Rebekah’s new job, Jacob needing to register for school, estate paperwork, and sewing projects that still need to be finished before the end of the month.  This was quite enough to make any sane woman panic!

How grateful I was, that I had gone to bed EARLY for a change and as a result, woke up EARLY. I had a chance to read my bible and pray for a whole hour before the rest of the family began to awaken..and before I started this much needed task of planning for the holidays.  Sometimes lists are helpful..but sometimes they can just scare you out of your wits! Tee-hee!

As I contemplated the seemingly impossible schedule, I thought about last Christmas. I knew my father was dying…and it was looking more and more like I was going to have to leave even before Christmas arrived. In fact, I did have to leave three days before Christmas. I spent Christmas Day evening in the hospital with my father..and New Years’ Eve too.  Amazingly, I was able to spend the actual holidays..Christmas Day with my family. (24 hours total)..but it was arrive at night and drive home the next day—four hours each way.

I discovered something last year…that the proverbial Grinch learned so very long ago--Christmas is NOT about packages and bows, or even food and Christmas cards. It’s about loving people..loving your family..friends..neighbors..anyone within your ‘circle of influence’. I didn’t get to do a lot of the things on my list that had seemed so very important in November; No cards..no letter…no family photo…no candy. (I’ve still got 8 pounds of almond bark in the freezer from last year.)  I did get to sew handmade gifts for my nieces and nephews.

We managed to buy our children their gifts…and we got the packages shipped. (And I got to surprise my dear hubby with a dream come true…cello lessons and a cello!)  But I didn’t even help take down the tree. I was making funeral arrangements by then.

  A month before Dad went to be with the Lord…

Somehow, sitting there in the hospital, holding my father’s hand, munching cookies that some dear souls had brought to the hospital and singing Christmas carols with the nurses and doctors and my father, I knew that THIS was what Christmas is all about. It’s about spending time with those you love, worshiping our dear Lord, celebrating HIS birth, and showing our love to everyone around us. It’s about helping those in need in a special way..especially those needier than ourselves. It’s about giving.  The other stuff is just extra—fluff if you will.

Here is the passage in the bible that I read BEFORE making out this list..the one that we all need to meditate on to keep us in the right ‘frame of mind’ while doing our usual holiday activities and festivities…

Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

It’s great to plan ahead and to DO ahead too…but don’t let the list get you down. Decide what you can skip…or simplify.  Buy some goodies if you have to, instead of baking them. Better to have time to spend with your family and friends…with a thankful heart.. than to be stressed because you didn’t do everything on your list…or do it all the way you planned.

Write your list, certainly, but then offer it up to the Lord in prayer..and make sure you keep doing that. Start every day with prayer..then check your list twice. Cross off the unnecessary, and have some fun with your kids. Bless your neighbors in some little way. Giving is the heart of Christmas. And remember…Jesus really is the reason for the season!  (Whatever you do, don’t worry!)

Our favorite Christmas tradition is to make almond bark candy and read short devotionals each Sunday evening for advent. We now share that event by going over to our son and daughter-in-law’s home too.  We take turns having ‘advent’.

We light candles, sing songs (accompanied by ‘moi’ on the guitar), and eat our candy. It’s the one time of each week during the Christmas season that we do our very best to work into the schedule some quiet time to remember why we are celebrating. 

What’s your favorite holiday tradition? How do you make the holidays less stressful..or more meaningful?

Sometimes Tea for Two means just Me... and the Lord

 Dear friends, It's been quite a week! I've been organizing the sewing room, installed a wonderful gift, a huge u-shaped desk that will serve for both sewing and teaching school and other desk work, and today I'm sewing as fast as I can to finish up the ministry banner I showed you last week.

This morning, it seemed that there were so many 'must do's ' that I wasn't sure where to start!  That's when I knew that I needed to start with the Lord. Who better to have tea with than him? Whether the day promises to be busy or not, that really is the best place for me to start. Without His peace, I would surely end up running around the house like a chicken with his head...Drat!--that's probably not the best idiom to use for this post. :o) But it's how I act sometimes...without the eternal perspective that I always get in my time with the Lord.

There are problems, that we all face, don't we?, that are just too big for us to handle, and there are some things in our day that we think we can handle on our own, only to find out we shouldn't have.  I need to take everything to the Lord and pray over it.  It's that simple.

(Thanks Secret Sister for the gorgeous place mat and coffee cup--whoever you are!?)

I have to get back to the sewing of the banner...a lot of hand-stitching of the beautiful border...but I wanted to leave this little excerpt with you for the day, that I got from reading in my devotional book (after reading 1st Peter...Sooo good!!).

And thanks Dear Hubby for the sweet rose!

The pure, simple, and steadfast spirit is not distracted by many labors, for she does them all for the honor of God. And since she enjoys inner peace, she seeks no selfish end in anything. What indeed, gives more trouble and affliction than uncontrolled desires of the heart?

A good and devout woman arranges in her mind the things she has to do, not according to the whims of selfish inclination but according to the dictates of right reason.  ~Thomas A'Kempis

(Personalized by me. :O)

  If any man serves..let him do it with the ability which God gives; that God, in all things, may be glorified, through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever.Amen. I Peter 4:11

ps. At first I posted this, to join Rayanne at A Lovely Thought's Tuesday Tea.  When I went to visit, it seems her tea linky party has been put on hold due to some difficult news she just received. Please keep my dear friend in your prayers and join her next week. If you'd like to leave a note to encourage her...visit her Tuesday Tea post today.

Happy Homemaking~

Have You Been Too Busy for Time Alone with the Lord?

Yesterday, I was having some time alone with the Lord and I have to say it was one of those embarrassing moments when you realize you have not called or written a dear friend in way too many days.  I don't know why or how I managed to get so busy that I wouldn't set aside time for the most important visit of the day...but that is what happened.  It was hard to face the Lord and 'fess up'. Which is kind of silly when you think about it, since he very well knew that I had been MIA.  It showed too...in wrong attitudes..wrong words..over reacting..and worry. Not all day of course, but when I most needed to respond properly.

I could look over the last few days of 'busy-ness' and remember several incidents where I was not the loving wife and mother I should be...nor was I as happy, peaceful, or joyful as I could have been.  All because I had gotten 'too busy'.

So, you can be sure that when I got down on my knees that morning, I was expecting a well deserved 'scolding' from my dear Heavenly Father......



Read more..

Readers’ Q & A: Family Devotions

Q.How Do You Do Family Devotions? 
Trudy at Sewing with Trudy asked me to talk about this…so here it is! 

A. Ever since the children were very young, we have taken the time to teach our children about God and the bible. We always pray together during these times and I sometimes play the guitar and we sing a worship song together. The singing is optional for those who feel hesitant about that though. We usually sit in the living room but sitting around the dining room table and reading and praying together after supper or breakfast is a great way too… It helps to establish the habit of family devotions if you have a set time.

credit

Everyone’s family has a different approach to family devotions, so I could never possible say that any one method was the best. We have changed many times over the years!
When the children were small, we used devotional books geared to their age, sang simple songs and said very short prayers. :0) Tim always read a bible verse or even short passage to go with the devotional book.
When they were little older we relied on Our 24 Family Ways. It allowed more study and had a color page, memory verse, suggested activites, etc.


In middle school, we used the Character Sketches Series series which is just fantastic! You learn character qualities through nature and through famous people in the bible. The kids especially loved these books! They are pricey but worth every penny and include phenomenal drawings and amazing science facts too. They are really almost encyclopedic in size! Each one would last a year.

And in their early teens, we have read chapter by chapter through the  in their Old Testament, and then we switched to the New Testament when they were in high school. That’s when we got into apologetics in a more serious way.

Sometimes, I lead if Tim can’t, but most of the time Tim leads.  We always ask them what they think and when they are done, we share what we feel they need to understand about the passage as well. I have to say we have some very interesting theological discussions!  This is a great time to teach them why they believe what they believe.

Singing worship songs during a break at an NCFCA tournament.

Honestly, to tell you the truth, they no longer all agree with all of our ‘particular’ doctrinal positions nor our standards. As far as we are concerned, by the time they are older teens, that is their decision. Of course, they had to respect our standards at home, but we allow a lot of freedom for them to listen to what God is saying to them. We want it to be their faith…not ours.  There’s an old saying that I find to be very true…

God has no ‘grandchildren’…only children. We want them to ‘own’ their faith!

Suggestions for How to Do Family Devotions:
Any or all of these things could be part of your family’s group devotional time just as they are or have been in ours.

• Start by praying and asking the Lord to help everyone listen to what he is trying to say to you through this passage. 

• 
  
  Sing a worship song appropriate to your kids’ age.  Like Wee Kids Tapes or Videos, music on the radio, hymns that you play on the piano, contemporary music you play on the guitar…etc. (I even write worship songs which you can find here.) I loved to let the kids ‘help’ play sometimes. Get instruments that they can use to join in. Now my kids are old enough to lead the music themselves, since they play guitar too—all five of them in fact!

•   Read a devotional story geared towards your children’s age group. 

This was our favorite devotional book when the children were Pre-School age…this 1971 version uses real famous art masterpieces in every picture! For those of you wanting to introduce your children to art, this adds an extra benefit!

Some suggested devotionals: The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes, Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon...online, Max Lucado Daily Devotions

credit

• 
  
  Read a bible passage and discuss it. Ask the children what it means to them.  Most good devotional books will have questions you can ask. Ask the kids how you can DO the things you just TALKED about.
• 
  
  Ask if anyone would like you to pray for them today. Discuss people you know who need prayer especially friends and family. Ask each child to pick one person to pray for. You and or hubby, pray for the children as a way to close the prayer time.
   

• 
  
  You can start a family prayer journal to record requests and God’s answers as they have happened! It will build their faith in a way that nothing else can. We’ve yet to have an unanswered prayer!The miracles God has done in our lives are a huge part of our family’s history and heritage.

Our favorite resource when the children were school age!

• Memorize a verse and write it down. Tape it to the fridge for everyone to see and work on.

If you are married and don’t have children, or if you have young adult children preparing for the day they will get married, then the very best book for daily devotions I have ever read is The Love Dare. It will help you really learn how to build your relationship with each other. 

I wish they would write it for families!! We’ve been using it for our teens and I just paraphrase it as I go, to make it as applicable as possible. It’s really helped me kids understand how to treat each other  and others the way they should. It spells out what Love, the heart of real life in Christ, is supposed to be and how it should look as you live with those around you.  Jacob, my 17 yr. old, said that the best devotional he’s ever read to help him through the struggles of older teen life is Every Young Man’s Battle. They also have Every Young Woman’s Battle as well. These would be good to do one on one with a parent and child, especially since the go into some very adult topics. You might want to pre-view these before buying just to make sure that is the direction you want to head.

There are many other things you can do, but these ideas should help you get started. 

There are so many good resources that I’d love to have you guys comment with your favorites so that others could get them too. We are only one family and our kids are older. Tell me how you do family devotions!



Another Answer to Why Do You Home School?

Country Mama of Life and Love in the Country wrote..

This is one of my favorite sites and there was an article in this week's newsletter I thought you might like to read. I really enjoyed it.
http://www.homestead.org/SheriDixon/Homeschooling/HomeschoolingfortheHomesteader.htm
Country Mama
Country Mama is the reader who asked my why I home schooled with prompted the long post I wrote in response.  You can read that post here. But I have to say her link leads to a really good answer with some other angles to the question. Check it out if you have questions!  She also writes very interesting articles that I think are very hopeful to new homeschoolers on her blog, like this one about their first trip to a home school book fair.

 

Just a quick reminder, that I'm gone to a tournament with the kids and can't get to the internet except to check emails via my Ipod..maybe...   I'll be home Sunday evening. :o) This is a previously scheduled post. :o)

First Things First..

Good Priorities: The Key to Time Management

When it comes to priorities, we each have our own set. Without clearly defined priorities, we will find ourselves saying "Yes" to everything. Burnout and over-commitment are the guaranteed results.  My set of priorities comes from my personal understanding of God's word. For me, the scriptures clearly say, "Let the wives love their husbands, love their children, be good, pure, keepers at home..that the word of God be not maligned (given a bad name)."

My priorities, as I have always understood them to be, are the Lord first, my husband,  my children, my neighbors, my church and me too, of course!

What does this look like on a daily basis? Well, you can check my sidebar to see how it looks for me. I put it on my side bar so that I wouldn't forget that the blog comes at the end of the priority list..not at the beginning! 

The key to time management is to do the important things first and then let the other things fill in the gaps. But if you don't know what those important things are, how are you going to decide what should be first? If the day goes awry by 2pm, who cares..as long as hubby is happy, the laundry, dishes, and supper have been given their fair share of attention, and the kids have been helped with their various needs and academic pursuits.

What are our Priorities?

Spiritual Health brings Mental Health

If I don't have devotions, the very FIRST result, is misplaced priorities. Time management is a joke at that point. When we get our hearts focused on the Lord first, He fills the very deepest needs of our soul, affirming His unconditional acceptance of us. We don't need kudos near as much, and can then be free to serve those we have been appointed to serve for HIS sake, as a love offering to him. We can trust the Lord to give us time for our projects (as privileges) at the end of the day. If the time isn't there, it wasn't meant to be done that day.

Just as important, we will have His grace to trust that He will care for us, no matter what difficulties may come--and they will come--that's real life. We will have the grace to respond lovingly to the weaknesses or bad attitudes of family members who may be having a rough day too. The key word, is responding rather than reacting. When I have an eternal perspective, I'm much more likely to respond. Reactions and conflict, are the natural result of a mind focused on things that don't matter in the long run. And talk about a waste of time! Not all conflicts are waste of time, though. They can be the catalyst for better understanding of the needs of those around us. But those conflicts can be handled much better when you are remembering not to 'return evil for evil, but rather give a blessing instead".


Do you have difficulties with attitudes when you get too busy for quiet time?