How to Take the Stress Out of Christmas

 

It’s Tuesday Tea Time at Rayanne’s  again..and time for a little chat. So break out your mug of hot cocoa or tea..and let’s talk about stress…and Christmas. I know, it’s sad to think that those two have to pop up in the same sentence. This morning,  I thought I’d start a Christmas ‘to do’ list and for once get an early start!  (Why does this never happen?!!)

So I energetically sat down with my cup of hot cocoa, my marker board and a pen and enlisted my daughter’s help to ‘brainstorm’ with me. Together, we came up with a list of the usual things that we hope to accomplish each year around this time….

  Christmas To Do List

• Make Christmas Budget with Hubby
• Gift list for Immediate family
• Gather Shipping Supplies
• Gift list for Extended Family (Ship by Dec.5th)
• Online Shopping
• Christmas Shopping

• Decorate the House for Christmas
• Card list (Address Envelopes)
• Write Family Newsletter – Print Copies
• Take Christmas Family Photo
• Operation Christmas Child Shoebox
• Sewing for Nieces and Nephews
• Photobook for Parents

• Set Up a Giftwrap Center
• Make Holiday Candy
• Make gifts

• Hang Lights
• Decorate Tree
• Set Up Advent Wreath
• Plan Christmas Dinner
• Holiday Baking

Then I dutifully tried to squeeze it all into the calendar between now and Dec. 25th.  Of course, there were already lots of things on the calendar; Thanksgiving, a square dance, a wedding shower, a car repair, Rebekah’s new job, Jacob needing to register for school, estate paperwork, and sewing projects that still need to be finished before the end of the month.  This was quite enough to make any sane woman panic!

How grateful I was, that I had gone to bed EARLY for a change and as a result, woke up EARLY. I had a chance to read my bible and pray for a whole hour before the rest of the family began to awaken..and before I started this much needed task of planning for the holidays.  Sometimes lists are helpful..but sometimes they can just scare you out of your wits! Tee-hee!

As I contemplated the seemingly impossible schedule, I thought about last Christmas. I knew my father was dying…and it was looking more and more like I was going to have to leave even before Christmas arrived. In fact, I did have to leave three days before Christmas. I spent Christmas Day evening in the hospital with my father..and New Years’ Eve too.  Amazingly, I was able to spend the actual holidays..Christmas Day with my family. (24 hours total)..but it was arrive at night and drive home the next day—four hours each way.

I discovered something last year…that the proverbial Grinch learned so very long ago--Christmas is NOT about packages and bows, or even food and Christmas cards. It’s about loving people..loving your family..friends..neighbors..anyone within your ‘circle of influence’. I didn’t get to do a lot of the things on my list that had seemed so very important in November; No cards..no letter…no family photo…no candy. (I’ve still got 8 pounds of almond bark in the freezer from last year.)  I did get to sew handmade gifts for my nieces and nephews.

We managed to buy our children their gifts…and we got the packages shipped. (And I got to surprise my dear hubby with a dream come true…cello lessons and a cello!)  But I didn’t even help take down the tree. I was making funeral arrangements by then.

  A month before Dad went to be with the Lord…

Somehow, sitting there in the hospital, holding my father’s hand, munching cookies that some dear souls had brought to the hospital and singing Christmas carols with the nurses and doctors and my father, I knew that THIS was what Christmas is all about. It’s about spending time with those you love, worshiping our dear Lord, celebrating HIS birth, and showing our love to everyone around us. It’s about helping those in need in a special way..especially those needier than ourselves. It’s about giving.  The other stuff is just extra—fluff if you will.

Here is the passage in the bible that I read BEFORE making out this list..the one that we all need to meditate on to keep us in the right ‘frame of mind’ while doing our usual holiday activities and festivities…

Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

It’s great to plan ahead and to DO ahead too…but don’t let the list get you down. Decide what you can skip…or simplify.  Buy some goodies if you have to, instead of baking them. Better to have time to spend with your family and friends…with a thankful heart.. than to be stressed because you didn’t do everything on your list…or do it all the way you planned.

Write your list, certainly, but then offer it up to the Lord in prayer..and make sure you keep doing that. Start every day with prayer..then check your list twice. Cross off the unnecessary, and have some fun with your kids. Bless your neighbors in some little way. Giving is the heart of Christmas. And remember…Jesus really is the reason for the season!  (Whatever you do, don’t worry!)

Our favorite Christmas tradition is to make almond bark candy and read short devotionals each Sunday evening for advent. We now share that event by going over to our son and daughter-in-law’s home too.  We take turns having ‘advent’.

We light candles, sing songs (accompanied by ‘moi’ on the guitar), and eat our candy. It’s the one time of each week during the Christmas season that we do our very best to work into the schedule some quiet time to remember why we are celebrating. 

What’s your favorite holiday tradition? How do you make the holidays less stressful..or more meaningful?

Stressed Out? Time for a 'Worry List'!

Have you ever seen a horse worry? I know Tex never does. He knows if there's no grass on one side of the fence, get it off the other side. And if worse comes to worse, we'll bring him a bale of hay. He has absolutely no worries. However, we people are just the opposite!  Of course, he didn't arrive at my dad's house to get it ready for pictures for a realtor who was arriving at 3:00pm on Wed.  I found the mess below at 11:30pm the night before when my son and I dropped by to leave our cleaning supplies at the house before going to the hotel to sleep.  We had hired an estate sale guy to handle the left over stuff, but he couldn't get the thrift stores to come pick up the leftovers. So he left it all stacked on the front lawn. The neighbors had a great time..I must say. But it was a little overwhelming to find at the end of a four hour drive.  Jacob, my 17 yr. old, standing next to me on the lawn, just hugged me and said, "Mom..it's time to pray!" Wow.. out of the mouth of babes...

Needless to say,  I have been so stressed this week!  In fact, so much so, that I could hardly sleep last night. For me that is usually caused by one of two things, either I'm struggling between what I ought to do versus what I want to do, or there is simply too much to do all together and there is just flat not enough time to do it all.(As in the above situation.) It feels like everything that needs to be done, needs to be done NOW. If my problem is the first scenario, the solution is pretty easy, I just go have a little talk with the Lord and ask him to change my 'have to's' into 'want to's.

But if it's the second cause, and today, that's where I am, then I usually have to make a 'worry' list.  The first time I ever did that is engraved on my memory...it was the day my husband to be decided that we should get married this summer rather than next summer, which meant the wedding was exactly four months away.  Now, granted, I was thrilled beyond belief! But it also meant that whatever was on my to do list got joined by a thousand other items and suddenly, for the first time in my life, I had too much to do.  And there were other things worrying me...things that weren't just tasks, but nagging gnawing things..fears, minor failures, relationship stresses with family members, insecurities.  If fact, the reason I finally wrote that first list is I just couldn't really tell why I was so 'down in the dumps' when it was the most exciting time of my life!

by koalazymonkey

So I got out a piece of paper and started writing down everything..this wasn't just a to do list--this was things that were worrying me to. Things that were making me feel stressed or anxious. Sometimes these items were things to do and sometimes they were just situations that I could do very little about. I then marked everything that absolutely had to be done and could be done with a one. These were things that had to be done or the world would stop..today..literally. I might have ended up with 10 or 15 ones on the list. Then I marked everything that I FELT like needed to be done today, but in reality could probably wait until tomorrow or even later. Those items were all 2's.

Next I marked everything that really needed to be done, but could  probably be done any time with a 3.It's funny how many important things were on that list. It's amazing how often the important is rarely urgent.  That's why we put off things like making wills and calling family members or apologizing and making a bad situation right. Those are all important..but they don't have to be done today or the world will fall apart.  (Not a good thing..right?) The next  group, is all the things that I'd love to do, but don't have to do..they can wait but I probably would prefer to do them and skip the 1-3 items! They all get 4s. The very last group is things that it would be nice to do, but if they don't neither I or any one else is going to care. You know you will have time to get to them eventually...like my 15yr. old's baby book or the chicken border I bought a year ago to put in our kitchen.

So far, that sounds like a pretty normal sort of to do list right. Here's why I call it a worry list.  I went all the way back through the list now and highlighted everything that was on the list, that I could do nothing about at all except to pray. They were things that I could not do a thing about. I highlighted all those things and wrote them on a prayer list. There were things on the list that I had done wrong, had tried to make right, and the situation was still bad. Some things I need to forgive myself for..  I had to acknowledge right there that those situations were not my responsibility any more. They were the Lord's burden to carry. I got on my knees right there and just gave that part of the list up to the Lord and asked him to carry and or fix, what I could not.

The bible says not to worry about any thing, but to tell your heavenly Father everything you need  with a thankful heart, knowing that he not only knows about your needs, but cares about them and will meet them in His perfect timing.  I've had a lot of things like that on the list..difficult things--really logistical situations that I could not in my own efforts change. In fact, he already fixed several things this week. Nothing is too small for his loving attention. Difficulties and impossibilities are His opportunity to show us his love and his power. He just wants us to ask. That's it..

Then I wrote the ones on a separate list and quit worrying about the rest.  That meant that a huge part of the list, at least for today, was off my mind and my back.  I felt like a new woman instead of a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming truck!

Well, I'm off to make my worry list, but I feel better all ready.  I didn't get to do any sewing this week or projects, but I got a lot of things off my worry list!!! I still have a ways to go..(I hate deadlines like two week trips that start on such and such of a date.) But at least I'll have a plan.

How about you? I'll say a prayer this morning for all my readers, who might be worrying to day or stressed. Let's make those lists and give all those difficult items to God and while we're at it, lets give him the rest of the list and ask him for wisdom to know which ones we REALLY have to do TODAY.

Never worry about anything. Instead, in every situation let your petitions be made known to God through prayers and requests, with thanksgiving. Philippians 4:6