It Won't Be Like This for Long... Are You Making Memories or just Checking Off a 'To Do' List?

Do you ever find yourself wishing life would slow down just a little bit?  It's easy to forget why we do all we do as wives and mothers!  I have to remember...it's all about people not just things. This next week is going to be VERY busy for us. Sometimes it seems as if it is more than any one person could do.  So many tasks...and so many momentous occasions on the horizon! Baby showers, new grand baby coming, new job for a child, driver's permits, selling a father's home, first job, college registration. It's enough to blow your mind!

Tomorrow, my daughter-in-law Elisabeth, mommy of Lena, will be having a baby shower in the afternoon and I'm really looking forward to being there. :o)  After we get home, about 4:30pm, we will spend the evening finishing up packing for a week long trip away in Grand Prairie.  Did I mention that my son and his wife are expecting a boy by the end of August? Lena will have a little brother! I can hardly believe it!

I have so much to do to get dad's house ready, that I don't think I'll ever get to work on my own.   His house has been on the market since April and the only offer fell through last month. The fact is the house is just awful! The carpet was terribly old and dirty. The walls are yellow with white places where the pictures once hung. Not because of my dad, who only lived there a short time, and pretty much had cancer that whole time, but because of the fact that his parents and sister lived there all their lives and had pets and smoked.  If I don't do some major work, the house will probably never sell.  I got new carpet installed last week, and the realtor called this morning and said it looked fantastic. She was letting the plumber in to repair the rusted faucet and pipes in the bathroom sink, so the carpet could be finished installing in there.

I have several fun tasks to accomplish over the next week or so while in Grand Prairie:

• Meet with the Terminix guy to do termite  and pest treatment and show us where all the damage is.
• Arrange and supervise repair work on the wood from termite damage to be done by construction friend of my mother's. 
• Meet with the people who just installed the new carpet to finish the bathroom carpet and lay down new linoleum in the kitchen.
• Talk to neighbor about watering the lawn.
• Make plans to remove dead tree in front yard and trim broken one from storm damage.
• Pay yard guy for next two month's lawn care.
• Scrub and re-line all the cabinets and drawers.
• Paint the whole house.
• Hang new curtains. Repair blinds.
• Call estate sale guy again since he hasn't been returning calls about his payment to us.
• Meet with tax guy about our taxes.
• Visit friends in the area.
• Give mom the few couch cushions I have managed to sew. Perhaps sew in the evening at Aunt Joan's house.
• Meet with realtor to take new photos for re-listing the property after repairs and improvements.

I never would have imagined how much work it would be to settle an estate when a house is involved and the housing market is about dead!  Pray that I get it all done, with my able teenagers' help and that we will get some showings when we put it on the market as a new property this September.

We bought all the supplies for painting today, plus air freshener, lining for shelves, and are pulling together the cleaning supplies. It's amazing how much fun we had just shopping at Wal-mart and Sam's and listening to the kids' favorite country songs and contemporary worship music on the radio and sing along while we drove around town. Even simple days can be memorable when they are shared with your family.  My youngest is 15, about to be 16. I know the empty nest is just around the corner!

I also bought my DH 'camp food'. He will be living off of spaghetti sauce and chili that I made this week, plus canned ravioli, beef stew, chicken chow mein, ramen, peanut butter and oranges. We call that 'camp food' and he loves it!  He doesn't like TV dinners, and would rather not eat than have to cook much. I'd make him other dishes, but he wouldn't remember to eat them.  I hate leaving him at home alone to fend for himself, but I know he will be fine I guess. He has to meet his boss next week in Houston about the same time we will be arriving home.

When we get home, we have a whole new list! Getting Jacob, my 18yr.old, registered for dual credit college classes, his driver's permit (which he is now ready for), and tested. Plus he's trying to get on with UPS. I'll be in the thick of meeting with student counselors, getting his ID, paying for classes etc. starting with the very first day after we get home.

There is never an end to the list! And the new grandbaby will arrive shortly afterwards. Poor mom, she keeps asking, "where are my cushion covers"?  I don't know how to describe the never ending list that makes up my life.  Sigh...  Forget painting my house for now.  I'm afraid I'll never have time to do it. 

I often remind myself, when the tunnel of tasks looks very long,  that I must treasure these days because 'this too will pass'. I know I will miss the busy-ness one of these days.  I've learned to have fun while doing our 'to do list'. Otherwise, I never would have any fun at all. It would all just be work. 

 Christian with Debate Buddies

The kids and I will have a great time, even while painting, I'm sure. We picked up a couple of movies we want to watch together in the evenings and will take some games. And my favorite Aunt and Uncle will arrive a few days before we drive home. So we will get to spend a couple of days visiting.  I will probably see my Dad's friend, Nancy, who is such a sweet lady while we are there too.

We will be visiting some of the kids' debate friends while we are there and may attend a going away party for one of them, who is off to college next week.  That will be Sun.-Tues. I just love watching my teenagers have so much fun and develop friendships like these.

And helping my 18yr. old get 'launched' into life with first college classes, first job, first days of driving--well, I just don't have words for it. He's become such a man and I'm just not sure how it all happened so fast!  I wish you could have been a fly on the wall as Rebekah and I listened to Jacob talk with the UPS guy about inside tips for getting a job there. He attended the same college Jacob wants to attend while working his way through with UPS. At the end of the talk, Jacob gave him a firm handshake and a grin and didn't quite swagger out the door but his head was held high.  

The guy said he would get quite a workout loading boxes from 4-8pm every night.   Jacob said, "That's just the kind of job I want. One that will keep me in good shape!".  He plans to go to college through the Army National Guard. He's always loved that organization and can't wait to join. Then it's on to a pursuit of a Criminal Justice degree. No surprise since he's a debater.

Yep..., I'm swamped...but it's the right kind of busy... :o)   Makes me think of that song...

It Won't Be Like This for Long by Daniel Rucker...

  It's a beautiful song about a father and the changing seasons of life...

Happy Homemaking!

Let Your Children Dream...for Sunday Song

Natasha at 5 minutes just for me has a Sunday Song linky event asking us to share our favorite songs. I love that so much!  I decided to post my very favorite song and I feel the best that I have ever written.  I don't mind not being the world's best songwriter as long as I can sing and write for my family.  It's ok to be amateur!! This is usually the song most of my friends' like best too.

I posted this almost a year and a half ago...so I'm sharing it today once again.

 

Let your children dream..

 

They're not always what they seem.

They've got so much that's inside,

gifts and talents that they hide.

Talk to them each day,

Hear the things they have to say,

Teach them all they need to know,

As a parent help them grow.

Chorus:

For your children are a gift from God above,

They're just ours to train, accept, and love,

but they're only here for a little while,

just longing for a loving smile,

Help them be all God intends for them to be,

Let your children dream..

Vs.2 Show your proud of all they do,

That they can always count on you,

Give them comfort when they fail,

Don't let their vision ever pale,

Help them see what God has done.

He has a plan for everyone.

Speaking words of simple faith,

teach your children how to pray.

Chorus:

For your children are a gift from God above,

They're just ours to train, accept, and love,

but they're only here for a little while,

just longing for a loving smile,

Help them be all God intends for them to be,

Let your children dream..

Let your children dream.....

By Donna C. Rodgers 

for her five teenagers..

Readers’ Q and As: Discerning Your Child's Natural Gifts and Abilities

Every day I get a question or two that I think deserves a ‘public’ response. Today’s post will answer one of the best questions I received over this last week or two. I love a good question or thoughtful comment!

Q: Caroline asked: How do you figure out what your child's giftings or ‘natural abilities’ are?   

Caroline from Church Sexy was responding to my article: Making Time for Your Kids.  I don't have any scientific answers for this question. I can only tell you that I've been very purposeful in trying to figure that out for each of my children from a very early age.

A:Watch them at Play

The easiest way to tell is to watch them play. What sort of pretend games do they like? What do they like helping you do?  My youngest child’s first word was ‘ball’. The neighbors regularly had to rescue their basketball from our yard. He could dribble very well at the ripe old age of 2!  Computer games were also very telling to me when my children were young. Matthew liked war games, planes and drawing.  He’s now a Marine and also learned to fly Soar Planes in high school. Andrew liked Zoo Tycoon and Pizza Tycoon etc. He is now a business major and worked at a bank for his first job. But he also loved  raising bugs and animals, cooking and fishing. Rebekah wanted the PetZ series and Horseback riding games.  She learned ride horses and competed and she also worked at dog kennels and pet stores. Watching them play is the quickest way to figure out their what they will one day be 'good' at.

 

Also, what do they draw and how do they do it? Some of my kids were obviously artistic (we come from a long line of artists), but Jacob's drawing was on a first grade level at ten! He was really dyslexic and didn't learn to read until he was almost ten. He spent all his spare time playing with beanie babies and Betty Luken Felt books. He played for hours in an imaginary world all his own. He didn’t want to be called Jacob. His name was lizard…or frog.  Most interesting though were his drawings which were extremely poor and childish, but very detailed.  They were full of stick men doing all sorts of interesting things.  It would take him an hour to ‘explain’ his story. In spite of his poor drawing, I eventually realized that he was a true story teller. It didn't matter that he couldn't write well or spell. He was a writer in the making!  He actually told me, only a year ago, that he used the felt figures and beanie babies to make up stories in his head.

He loved adventure so much that one year for Christmas, he said he wanted ‘adventure’. Go figure that one out! We got a play fort for him because I couldn't think of anything else to do…it was perfect!  What will he do one day? He wants to go into law enforcement preferably with the DEA..or he may join the French Foreign Legion. I do my very best not to panic!!!  He’s also one of the top ranking debaters in the NCFCA league. Well, there’s no question he will get some adventure and I expect we will get some novels out of that boy too. He has several in progress as we speak. (I weaned him on Dickens and Louis L'Amour novels--books on tape.) As a side note, he just got into the Honor Society by testing in the 92nd percentile with 34th percentile spelling...that meant everything but the spelling had to be in the 98th percentile! He was determined...and he did it!

Quiet Children….

But that only covers the surface. Andrew was always doing whatever we did and it eventually became obvious that he didn’t like drawing, Legos, or even pretend games. He liked people. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what sort of hobby he needed.  It finally hit me one day, when he was cuddling with me, that he was a nurturer. He needed something to cuddle. Up to that time we had no pets, but I begged Tim to get him one. He was like a kid in a candy shop--totally enthralled. He eventually went on to design habitats, breed mice to see if he could change their color etc.  He just loves animals, so we joined a wildlife rehab group at one point and he volunteered with adopt-a-pet at one time. He also adores fishing and did well because he focused on their habits and habitat.  I hope this gives you a good idea of what I mean. Really, playing is where children express themselves. 

credit

Help them explore options with good books, supplies, videos, and field trips.

We, as parents, have to be good listeners. When your kids say, “I want to be….” Do you say, “Oh that’s sweet deary…go comb your hair.”  It’s too easy to brush off those little comments…but I never did. Help them explore those options! Get toys to let them practice what they think they want to be. Buy the dog, or the juggling balls, or make them their own cookbook like I did for Andrew at the age of nine. (He also loved cooking. :o)  Find how to videos. Take them to airports like I did for my son.  Get musical instruments on Ebay or Craig's list and have them handy!   

Be sure to try out lots of different arts and crafts and watch videos about musicians, ballerinas, doctors and artists.  The library is just chock full of material and books to help your children find out what it is they love. As you give them the raw materials..they will begin to show what they like… 

The Critical Years: Middle School Age

I have noticed an amazing phenomena and have corroborated this with a friend, a teacher, pastor, and statistician, who had eight children who are all now grown. We were so worried about our oldest who was  in tense and hyperactive beyond description. Mike told us that pre-teens will develop an intense passion…for something! This is when it is most important that you take those, “I’d like to try…” statements! You want them focused on something.  They have the ability to digest adult reading materials and will collect data like an obsessed person!  Haven’t you met kids who could recite every movie or baseball statistic none to man? He told us to do everything we could to get him started on something..anything...constructive or the things he chose would end up being destructive.  Some kids are just like that. So we did..

Do we really want them putting all their energies into following the lives of the rich, wild, and famous? 
If you do it right, you can get them focused on horse back riding, debate, acting, or science instead. Your job will be practically done!They will go after their passion with an intensity that will amaze you!And if you keep track of their hours spent, and they are using adult library and internet materials., you could easily document 1-2 high school credits! High school work done in junior high counts towards high school.  Keep an activity log of their hours spent reading, writing, volunteering, doing projects, etc on their passions.  (This link leads to all the home school forms I made for SCCHE)It takes 185 hours to make a Carnegie credit. In four to five years of pursuing a hobby, you will certainly accumulate that.

 

A True Story…

When my oldest son, Matthew, was 11, he met a little boy who had just been adopted by our pastor. This boy was a Russian and he had lived on the streets and been horribly abused, so much so, that he lost an eye which had to be replaced. Matthew made friends with him immediately and wanted to talk to Alex so badly that he started trying to teach himself Russian. In the process of learning to communicate with Alex, he fell in love with the Russian language. Someone at church gave him a little Russian/English bible and a cheap language course…sort of a travel phrases book. Matthew dove into it with all the passion an eleven year old can muster!  Later we bought an adult course and he studied it regularly all through junior high and high school. I drove him 45 minutes every Saturday to visit some dear friends who had a college age exchange student from Russian living with them. She listened to Matthew talk, corrected his accent etc. We even explored trying to get involved in visits with a local Russian community in Houston. 

Don't let them give up!

The first time Matthew took the aptitude test in the Marines for Russian he failed it. It is the most difficult test you can take. He did score a 97 on the ASVAB…it covers normal subjects plus electronics, mechanics, and physics. Being a pilot—he was also obsessed with planes—he had studied all of these things. He couldn’t fly because his eyesight was so bad, but three years later, he took the language aptitude test and passed! It’s the highest paying position you can get as an enlisted person. I was so thrilled that he made it!! He whizzed through the language school and speaks fluent and flawless Russian. He named his third son, Nikolai, to celebrate. I’m designing a baby quilt using Russian toys.  Remember, he was only eleven when he first started collecting little Russian phrases in a tiny little pocket notebook…. 

Matthew, A Russian Translator for the Marines, with sister, Rebekah, at her Graduation

Help your children follow their dreams!! Even if they don’t seem to make sense at the time. :o) You never know where their crazy ideas will take them. :o) And best of all, by the time they hit college, they will be much more likely to know what they want to do with their life. And they are much less likely to have gotten into trouble because they were caught up in passions  and wasteful activities that are less than healthy…  For more ideas on this topic, read The Creative Home, an earlier post.